A good friend of mine has decided to venture into the online dating world, and asked for some advice on what to say in her profile. We went to the source...my husband, who just so happens to be a guy. I figured a guy would know what a guy wants.
Here's what he said: Post a picture where you look like you're having fun, be positive, talk about the things you like to do.
Then he said something very interesting: he said the guys want to like you. They are looking for reasons to like you. So give it to them. Men are simple. They just want to know they're going to have a good time if they go out with you.
So show your fun side!
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Friday, August 15, 2008
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
What's in a Name
I once had a date with a guy who dated Suzanne Vega. Know how I know that? Because he made darn well sure it came up in our conversation.
I remember him kind of steering the conversation toward this very exciting announcement, and then looking at my face carefully for the response. Apparently, he didn't see the proper amount of awe there, and he was might disappointed. In fact, he was bummed that I'd dated a somewhat famous musician too (not nearly as well-known as her, but his band has a loyal and large following).
It came as little surprise that he didn't call me for a second date.
However, what is really funny about this is that the next day I went hiking with a friend who was also doing a lot of Internet dating at the time. I was telling her about my date and she just started laughing. She'd gone out with the guy too! And he'd also found a way to tell her about Suzanne. She didn't have a second date with him either. Maybe nobody could measure up.
I remember him kind of steering the conversation toward this very exciting announcement, and then looking at my face carefully for the response. Apparently, he didn't see the proper amount of awe there, and he was might disappointed. In fact, he was bummed that I'd dated a somewhat famous musician too (not nearly as well-known as her, but his band has a loyal and large following).
It came as little surprise that he didn't call me for a second date.
However, what is really funny about this is that the next day I went hiking with a friend who was also doing a lot of Internet dating at the time. I was telling her about my date and she just started laughing. She'd gone out with the guy too! And he'd also found a way to tell her about Suzanne. She didn't have a second date with him either. Maybe nobody could measure up.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Saturday, August 9, 2008
Marriage Obsession
Why is it that women get the bad reputation for being obessessed with marriage? I've had plenty of men who just couldn't let the topic drop. Of course, for them it was always the need to tell me how much they never wanted to do it!
I dated a muscian for a year. We had so much fun together. But our dates could never really get fun until he got the marriage speech off his chest. No joke...sometime within the first half hour of each date, he'd casually bring up the fact that he never wanted to get married into the conversation. I'd reply that if he didn't want to do it, he probably shouldn't. And then he'd relax and we would have fun.
He was totally obsessesed with how much he didn't want to be tied down, and he couldn't see that I wasn't asking him to. In fact, had I seriously thought about it, I wouldn't have wanted to marry him...he was a drummer. It would have been a rough life for me.
But he couldn't let it drop. One night I was chatting with the guitarist in his band as they were breaking down. I actually remember that we were discussing the guy's car trunk and how many instruments he could fit in it. I remember this because my guy saw us talking and yelled "Is she telling you how much she wants to marry me?" Neither the guitarist nor I even knew what to say to that.
Therefore it didn't surprise me that the last time I ever saw him was the night he told me that if (not that he ever would), but if he ever got married, I was at the top of the list.
Men.
I dated a muscian for a year. We had so much fun together. But our dates could never really get fun until he got the marriage speech off his chest. No joke...sometime within the first half hour of each date, he'd casually bring up the fact that he never wanted to get married into the conversation. I'd reply that if he didn't want to do it, he probably shouldn't. And then he'd relax and we would have fun.
He was totally obsessesed with how much he didn't want to be tied down, and he couldn't see that I wasn't asking him to. In fact, had I seriously thought about it, I wouldn't have wanted to marry him...he was a drummer. It would have been a rough life for me.
But he couldn't let it drop. One night I was chatting with the guitarist in his band as they were breaking down. I actually remember that we were discussing the guy's car trunk and how many instruments he could fit in it. I remember this because my guy saw us talking and yelled "Is she telling you how much she wants to marry me?" Neither the guitarist nor I even knew what to say to that.
Therefore it didn't surprise me that the last time I ever saw him was the night he told me that if (not that he ever would), but if he ever got married, I was at the top of the list.
Men.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Crazy Date Etiquette: Story 2
This story isn't really outrageous, but it was a situation that baffled me a little when it happened.
I met this guy once who ended up really, really, really wanting to go out with me. I'm not sure why; I wasn't all that nice to him (although, maybe that's why he was so interested). Anyway, after about the fifth time he asked, I said okay. He made a very big deal about wanting to take me out for a nice dinner at my favorite kind of place. I mean, we discussed this at length, and he wanted me to choose the restaurant and everything.
Now, I could tell he was kind of a basic food, meat and potato guy, while I really like unusual, very ethnic food. So, I chose a great little thai place that I know has a good selection for the not-so-adventurous eater. He said that sounded great.
About an hour before our date, he called to say he wanted to meet me at Outback Steakhouse. huh? He apparently had gotten a craving, and it was his favorite place.
Okay. Listen guys: Outback is fine...for a third or fourth date. But you won't be impressing your lady if you take her there on the first date, and you really won't be impressing her if you made her choose a restaurant in the first place, and then changed your mind.
Like I said, not an outrageous situation, but a baffling one. I will say I wasn't too surprised when we proceeded to have the most boring evening ever. I couldn't wait to finish dinner and go home! And no, there was no second date!
I met this guy once who ended up really, really, really wanting to go out with me. I'm not sure why; I wasn't all that nice to him (although, maybe that's why he was so interested). Anyway, after about the fifth time he asked, I said okay. He made a very big deal about wanting to take me out for a nice dinner at my favorite kind of place. I mean, we discussed this at length, and he wanted me to choose the restaurant and everything.
Now, I could tell he was kind of a basic food, meat and potato guy, while I really like unusual, very ethnic food. So, I chose a great little thai place that I know has a good selection for the not-so-adventurous eater. He said that sounded great.
About an hour before our date, he called to say he wanted to meet me at Outback Steakhouse. huh? He apparently had gotten a craving, and it was his favorite place.
Okay. Listen guys: Outback is fine...for a third or fourth date. But you won't be impressing your lady if you take her there on the first date, and you really won't be impressing her if you made her choose a restaurant in the first place, and then changed your mind.
Like I said, not an outrageous situation, but a baffling one. I will say I wasn't too surprised when we proceeded to have the most boring evening ever. I couldn't wait to finish dinner and go home! And no, there was no second date!
Monday, August 4, 2008
The Frog Prince Part 2
For those of you who enjoyed the first installment of the Muppets in The Frog Prince, here is Part 2 for your viewing pleasure.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
The Feeling of Love
Movies and books really mess us up in many ways. In terms of romance, they give us ridiculous notions of what love is supposed to feel like. They make us believe that love is about the sick pit in your stomach, the crazy feeling of emotions out of control, a heightened sense that fireworks must be flying at all times.
No wonder people are so often disappointed with the reality.
I experienced many of those feelings in my dating life, yet it was never with Mr. Right. Then I fell in love. And guess what? I didn't really feel any of those things. What I felt was a complete and total sense of calm contentment. From our first date, everything felt easy. Everything was easy!
This feeling is so much better than the fantasy. I'm so glad I've experienced real love...in fact, I'm grinning stupidly just thinking about it. So, maybe there is a little bit of the fireworks thing going on here. But mostly it's just a complete sense of "right."
No wonder people are so often disappointed with the reality.
I experienced many of those feelings in my dating life, yet it was never with Mr. Right. Then I fell in love. And guess what? I didn't really feel any of those things. What I felt was a complete and total sense of calm contentment. From our first date, everything felt easy. Everything was easy!
This feeling is so much better than the fantasy. I'm so glad I've experienced real love...in fact, I'm grinning stupidly just thinking about it. So, maybe there is a little bit of the fireworks thing going on here. But mostly it's just a complete sense of "right."
Saturday, August 2, 2008
The Frog Prince Part 1
In my opinion, the Muppets rule! I love Kermie and friends. Actually, Animal is my favorite, but he didn't star in the Frog Prince movie...
Friday, August 1, 2008
What's the Best On-Line Dating Site?
I am a big fan of Internet dating. Perhaps that's because I met my husband on MySpace. It certainly isn't because I had much luck with some of the popular Internet dating sites (although, I'm sure that has more to do with me and my habit of being attracted to the wrong guy than with the services those sites offer).
I've known people who have met their spouses on Match.com, E-Harmony, and MySpace. I'm wonder what your preference is, and if you have any good stories. How long did it take to meet the right person?
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