Home Remodeling...with a Spouse

My husband and I passed a huge test...we did a home remodeling project together and didn't have a single fight.

I didn't think anything of this until I was telling a group of friends about the project and they asked if "we were still married." I'm beginning to think we're weird. We never seem to fight, especially in situations where most people do.

Then I think, so what if we're weird. We never fight. We talk, we disagree about stuff, we communicate. But we don't fight. And it's great. Especially when we can remodel our house without incident.

By the way, the new living room is GORGEOUS!

Is Marriage Hard?

I'm coming up on my first anniversary. When people learn I'm a newlywed, they ask me if the adjustment has been hard. Honestly, the answer is no. Adjusting to married life has been a piece of cake.

This came to mind the other night when I met a couple who'd just celebrated their first anniversary. They were both celebrating the fact that the first year was over. "Thank God" is what they actually said. The adjustment was terrible, and they fought a lot. In fact, they're getting ready to go to a couple's retreat to work on the relationship.

The thing is, I think they're experience is more the norm than mine. So I'm curious about how other people have adjusted to being married. Was it easy, hard, you can't remember?

Crush of the Week: Santana Moss

I feel in love the other day. I was at the opening ceremony for the International Childrens' Festival and I met Washington Redskin Sanatana Moss.

I'm not much of a football fan, but I knew the name. If you follow football at all, you know the name. Meeting him at an arts event, however, is not what I would have expected.

But it turns out that he is a huge supporter of the arts, especially programs for children. In fact, he almost went to art school. How cool is that? As the guest of honor, he spoke about the influence the arts had on his life, and the impact it made on who he is today. How could I not fall in love?

So, football player and artist Santana Moss is my crush of the week.

Confessions of a Hunting Widow

My husband has left me again. He'll be back, but I don't know when. It doesn't really matter, because he'll leave again tomorrow before dawn.

It's hunting season in Northern Virginia.

My man has put up the tree stands, pulled out the decoy doe, and purchased some new camo. It's unlikely I'll spend much time with him over the next few weeks. At least not until he's had some success out there in the field.

So what is my confession? It's that I don't really mind all that much. As much as I love our morning coffee ritual and snuggling on the couch in the evening, I really enjoy being alone sometimes. So happy hunting season!

How to Get a Date Online

A good friend of mine has decided to venture into the online dating world, and asked for some advice on what to say in her profile. We went to the source...my husband, who just so happens to be a guy. I figured a guy would know what a guy wants.

Here's what he said: Post a picture where you look like you're having fun, be positive, talk about the things you like to do.

Then he said something very interesting: he said the guys want to like you. They are looking for reasons to like you. So give it to them. Men are simple. They just want to know they're going to have a good time if they go out with you.

So show your fun side!

The Frog Prince Part 5

Wait, there is more...

What's in a Name

I once had a date with a guy who dated Suzanne Vega. Know how I know that? Because he made darn well sure it came up in our conversation.

I remember him kind of steering the conversation toward this very exciting announcement, and then looking at my face carefully for the response. Apparently, he didn't see the proper amount of awe there, and he was might disappointed. In fact, he was bummed that I'd dated a somewhat famous musician too (not nearly as well-known as her, but his band has a loyal and large following).

It came as little surprise that he didn't call me for a second date.

However, what is really funny about this is that the next day I went hiking with a friend who was also doing a lot of Internet dating at the time. I was telling her about my date and she just started laughing. She'd gone out with the guy too! And he'd also found a way to tell her about Suzanne. She didn't have a second date with him either. Maybe nobody could measure up.

The Frog Prince Part 4

Here is part four of our froggie saga (courtesy of the Muppets).

Marriage Obsession

Why is it that women get the bad reputation for being obessessed with marriage? I've had plenty of men who just couldn't let the topic drop. Of course, for them it was always the need to tell me how much they never wanted to do it!

I dated a muscian for a year. We had so much fun together. But our dates could never really get fun until he got the marriage speech off his chest. No joke...sometime within the first half hour of each date, he'd casually bring up the fact that he never wanted to get married into the conversation. I'd reply that if he didn't want to do it, he probably shouldn't. And then he'd relax and we would have fun.

He was totally obsessesed with how much he didn't want to be tied down, and he couldn't see that I wasn't asking him to. In fact, had I seriously thought about it, I wouldn't have wanted to marry him...he was a drummer. It would have been a rough life for me.

But he couldn't let it drop. One night I was chatting with the guitarist in his band as they were breaking down. I actually remember that we were discussing the guy's car trunk and how many instruments he could fit in it. I remember this because my guy saw us talking and yelled "Is she telling you how much she wants to marry me?" Neither the guitarist nor I even knew what to say to that.

Therefore it didn't surprise me that the last time I ever saw him was the night he told me that if (not that he ever would), but if he ever got married, I was at the top of the list.

Men.

The Frog Prince Part 3

I love the Muppets! Here is part three...

Crazy Date Etiquette: Story 2

This story isn't really outrageous, but it was a situation that baffled me a little when it happened.

I met this guy once who ended up really, really, really wanting to go out with me. I'm not sure why; I wasn't all that nice to him (although, maybe that's why he was so interested). Anyway, after about the fifth time he asked, I said okay. He made a very big deal about wanting to take me out for a nice dinner at my favorite kind of place. I mean, we discussed this at length, and he wanted me to choose the restaurant and everything.

Now, I could tell he was kind of a basic food, meat and potato guy, while I really like unusual, very ethnic food. So, I chose a great little thai place that I know has a good selection for the not-so-adventurous eater. He said that sounded great.

About an hour before our date, he called to say he wanted to meet me at Outback Steakhouse. huh? He apparently had gotten a craving, and it was his favorite place.

Okay. Listen guys: Outback is fine...for a third or fourth date. But you won't be impressing your lady if you take her there on the first date, and you really won't be impressing her if you made her choose a restaurant in the first place, and then changed your mind.

Like I said, not an outrageous situation, but a baffling one. I will say I wasn't too surprised when we proceeded to have the most boring evening ever. I couldn't wait to finish dinner and go home! And no, there was no second date!

The Frog Prince Part 2

For those of you who enjoyed the first installment of the Muppets in The Frog Prince, here is Part 2 for your viewing pleasure.

The Feeling of Love

Movies and books really mess us up in many ways. In terms of romance, they give us ridiculous notions of what love is supposed to feel like. They make us believe that love is about the sick pit in your stomach, the crazy feeling of emotions out of control, a heightened sense that fireworks must be flying at all times.

No wonder people are so often disappointed with the reality.

I experienced many of those feelings in my dating life, yet it was never with Mr. Right. Then I fell in love. And guess what? I didn't really feel any of those things. What I felt was a complete and total sense of calm contentment. From our first date, everything felt easy. Everything was easy!

This feeling is so much better than the fantasy. I'm so glad I've experienced real love...in fact, I'm grinning stupidly just thinking about it. So, maybe there is a little bit of the fireworks thing going on here. But mostly it's just a complete sense of "right."

The Frog Prince Part 1

In my opinion, the Muppets rule! I love Kermie and friends. Actually, Animal is my favorite, but he didn't star in the Frog Prince movie...

What's the Best On-Line Dating Site?

I am a big fan of Internet dating. Perhaps that's because I met my husband on MySpace. It certainly isn't because I had much luck with some of the popular Internet dating sites (although, I'm sure that has more to do with me and my habit of being attracted to the wrong guy than with the services those sites offer).

I've known people who have met their spouses on Match.com, E-Harmony, and MySpace. I'm wonder what your preference is, and if you have any good stories. How long did it take to meet the right person?

What is a Date?

I was searching around for interesting dating statistics, and landed on one of my favorite sites...wikipedia. Here's how they define dating:

Dating is any social activity performed as a pair or even a group with the aim of each assessing the other's suitability as their partner in an intimate relationship or as a spouse. The word refers to the act of agreeing on a time and "date" when a pair can meet and engage in some social activity.

How do you define dating?

Kiss That Frog

Enjoy this video of Peter Gabrielle singing the frog kissers theme song "Kiss that Frog." I got his from YouTube. It's from the Secret World Live tour in 1996.

Crazy Date Etiquette: Story 1

Am I crazy, or is it to much to ask for someone to at least put real pants on for a date?

Many years ago (before Internet dating), I dated through the newspaper personals. I met a guy who seemed very interesting...at least on the phone. He was a photographer, had arty friends, seemed funny. We agreed to meet.

I should have known when he picked a college pick-up bar that something was amiss (he was in his 30s).

He wasn't there when I showed up. I waited, and then called to see where he was. His response was "Oh, you showed up?" Why didn't I run away? Fifteen minutes later, a very grungy guy in SWEATPANTS walked through the door. I momentarily ignored the fact that he didn't even resemble his description of himself because he was wearing SWEATPANTS.

However, I had just come from the gym and was starving, so I suggested we get that dinner. He had already eaten, and didn't have his wallet with him anyway, so we ended up at a pizza place.

Short story: he lived at home with his mom, was a self-proclaimed photographer (which I learned meant he got stoned all day long), and wanted to be my boyfriend. ugh. I respectfully said no. He was very confused as to why I wouldn't want to date him. Hello...he was wearing SWEATPANTS!

I'm very curious about date attire...what's the most interesting thing someone has worn on a date with you?

Finding Mr. Prince

I want to send out a word of encouragement to all the single women out there:
Your prince is waiting for you, and he is so wonderful!

How do I know this? After 20+ years of dating Mr. Frog (aka, the totally wrong guy), I wised up and decided I wanted a decent, caring, nice man in my life. And I found him.

At the age of 40, I found my prince.

He came as a surprise to me. At the time I met him, I was actually dating my last frog. I didn't think the guy was a frog, but he was. More on him in another post. Here's what happened:

I wrote a book about dating the wrong guys. Then I started publicizing it. Setting up a MySpace profile was one of the many things I did. (I had no idea people used MySpace for dating!) Anyway, one day, I got a funny and clever message from a guy in a kilt. It was friendly...not a pick up at all. We started writing, and made each other laugh. We met. I thought he'd make a good friend. He thought I'd be a good more-than-friend.

Then he did what no other guy had ever done—he treated me like a princess. He called when he said he'd call. He made arrangements to see me at the end of each date. He told me I was wonderful. And he kept showing up. It was a revelation. He treated me with respect, and showed how much he appreciated me.

So ladies (and gentlemen), it can happen. It will happen if you are really open to having a good person in your life. I highly recommend it.

No He Didn't!

I thought I'd experienced some pretty rude behavior on my dating expeditions, but the other day I heard a story that took the cake.

A friend has been doing the internet dating thing (I won't mention which service she is using). She's attractive, early 40's, mom. She's no model, but she looks great...for a 40ish year old.

So, she was e-flirting with a guy, and they decided to meet. She got to the destination early and ordered a glass of wine. A little while later, her guy walked in. He took a look at her, and she smiled. She walked over to her and said "Are you X?" When she said yes, he replied "I don't date liars" and walked out of the bar.

What the $%(?

She was completely blown away. She's also feisty enough to call him later that night and demand to know why he'd been so rude. He claimed she looked nothing like her profile picture (not true), and if she'd lie about that, what else would she lie about. She told him what she thought of that, and of him.

I never had someone walk out the door on me. I can't imagine. I hope he was the exception and not the norm. Would it have killed him to hang out and have a drink? Has anyone else had this experience, and if so, what did you do about it?

Welcome

Thanks for visiting Reformed Frog Kissers. I hope you'll find this blog as much fun to read as I find it to write.

Why am doing this? Well, a few years ago, I started compiling all of my dating war stories. Before I knew it, I had a book (Confessions of a Frog Kisser). While I was writing the book, I kept a blog about the process, with the occasional dating story thrown in for good measure (SusanRose.net). Once the book was finished, I kind of stopped posting to my blog. Yet, the dating stories are still there, along with stories about kicking the frog habit once and for all, and finding my prince.

So here I am with a new blog space, dedicated to the dating life. I'll share my own stories, along with stories from my dear friends who are still out there.

Have fun and feel free to share any time!